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January 08, 2006

Comments

jsp

I find that, often, when I pull the chair out for the woman the man jumps ahead and sits before she does. Or, she sits and he pushes me aside and makes a big show of pushing her chair in. She then makes a face like she is thinking since when does he push my chair in?

A big pet peeve is when I say "good evening. How are you two tonight?" and the customer's response is to hold up two fingers and say "two". How about responding to the person who just greeted you? "Were fine, thank you" or "Well, it is a little chilly outside but were glad to be here." or "We're hungry and looking forward to dinner." Or even "Actually, we are meeting people so we will need a table for four." I am not greeting you to hear the sound of air pass my teeth. I am actually greeting you. Saying hello. Asking how you are. Not wanting to find out at what age you gave up learing social skills ("two").

jen maiser

I once went on a first date with a guy here in the city -- we went out to dinner and I chose the seat facing outward, leaving the seat facing the wall for him (and not really because I knew the etiquette but mostly cause I got to the table first and that was the most convenient place for me to sit). He said, "Oh, I see you have chosen the POWER position." He was intimating that I, as the woman, should not have taken the dominant position. Needless to say that was a first and last date.

These days, I often give Jason the seat facing out - but it's mostly because I know that he is more comfortable where he can see what's going on.

kitchenmage

Last time I dined at a place where this was an issue (not something I do often because my "sticks" makes your "sticks" look like NYC), the person seating us was poised to seat me (woman) facing the wall and my companion (male) facing the room. As we arrived at the table, we noted that if we swapped intended places, my partner could watch the flamenco guitarist and I could watch the open kitchen, both of which were highly desirable.

So I mentioned it to the host who not only seated us that way but told the guitarist that he had a fellow musician next to him so we got to chat a bit and he made a point of sitting in such a way that my friend could watch his hands as he played. Now that's service!

Had we not said anything, dinner would still have been lovely, but not quite so personalized. I also would not have thought it had anything to do with the staff's manners/training, my stance on women's issues, or some absurd idea about which seat was "powerful" -- it's only dinner after all.

dafina girl

I love it when my chair is pulled out for me, personally. But don't you also also think chivalry can be feminine too. Like: sometimes I pay the bill, or pour the wine/green tea/whatever into the other person's glass first. Good manners knows no gender.

dafina girl

I love it when my chair is pulled out for me, personally. But don't you also also think chivalry can be feminine too. Like: sometimes I pay the bill, or pour the wine/green tea/whatever into the other person's glass first. Good manners knows no gender.

foodcrazee

i totally agree, even here in Malaysia, all the etiquettes are a goner.

Its kinda hard to see that nowadays in all restaurant. To claim its a western thingy is the wrong word to use, as most Malaysian will say that. What a NOOB

sam

hey haddock - you should get your posts rounded up in the Slow Pig Blogging weekend. I have to say it inspired me and I would love to learn more about making carcuterie. I wish the Fatted Calf still did lessons. This is onlt the beginning of a learning experience for me.

You might see a lot of pigginess oon food blogs today.
Did you see Derrick's (Obsession with Food) lard making exercise? SOmething else I have to try. I also want to try and make a sausage (or two).

though I am going to start out with smaller ones than yours!

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