A Tale of Two Ribs

They were the best of ribs. They were the worst of ribs. At least that was the tale told by a couple of customers a few nights ago.

We've done a few summer changes to the menu; replaced the sturgeon with CA sea bass, still with summer succotash and brown butter hollandaise, crisp skinned salmon with gazpacho, avocado and tobiko, pine nut crusted halibut with basil, garlic chips and parmesan broth, a rock shrimp cocktail with chipotle (thank you Biggles), avocado, red onion and watermelon (although we don't mention the watermelon on the menu), plus the aforementioned ribs. The ribs now have a blackberry BBQ sauce.

Part of the problem of serving food for a living is cooking (and eating) is subjective in a way that say, painting, isn't. Most people have cooked themselves something and everyone has very specific likes and dislikes, which get much more specific the familiar the dish. Think about your eggs for breakfast, how picky are you? Now how about a hamburger? French fries? Now how about sake-pinenut gazpacho, oysters, cherries, coffee oil?*  Hmm, not much frame of reference for that one eh?

I'll posit that part of the relative success of the molecular gastronomists lies in their serving dishes that people haven't experienced and thus cannot pass judgment on beyond it tasted good, or it didn't. Most diners are not at this point able to distinguish a stellar sake-pinenut gazpacho, oysters, cherries, coffee oil from a merely good one, or for that matter a poor one.

Not to say that those practitioners don't have their share of problems. But they're different problems. People don't find themselves at Cantu by accident or because they happened to be walking down the street. Maybe because someone dragged them there. But not because they're just looking for dinner.

So, back to the ribs. They're St Louis style ribs, cooked dry with an ancho based rub until the meat is quite tender, some of the edges slightly crisp. We reheat them with the blackberry BBQ because even though real BBQ should be served dry, sauce on the side, I know my customers think BBQ is sloppy wet.

The people who loved the ribs live about 2.5 hours away and are regulars. They make a trip to our area, usually stay 5 or so nights and dine with us every night they're here. They love us and trust us. They loved the sauce.

The people who didn't like the ribs are also from out of town and they also ordered fettuccine with seafood sausage. After a bite or two of the dish the woman asked, "Is there fish in this?" When the waiter told her, yes, there's seafood sausage, the woman complained, "I can't eat fish! Does it say that on the menu?" The waiter assured her it did. One of the bussers overheard them talking and saying it was the worst meal they'd ever had. So I went out to talk with them.

I told them I heard they didn't have a great experience and I wanted to make sure they left well-fed. They told me they were fine, the bread and water were good (perhaps they just got out of jail) and that they weren't leaving unhappy. I let them know I was more concerned with their well-being, it was late, I knew they were from out of town, there were no other options open and I didn't want them to go to sleep hungry. After 4 go-rounds of this they wouldn't let me feed them and I wasn't going to argue with them. When I got home and told the GM about it she reminded me that Denny's was open. Which hopefully is where they wound up and got the meal they were probably looking for.

We are however, changing the ribs. Not in response to this incident but because we're replacing them with duck. Still probably with a blackberry sauce because I have rampant blackberry vines in my yard. This not only helps the food cost (marginally) but gets me outside with the dogs so they don't feel completely neglected now that our son has arrived. Although I've tried not to change their routine too much, there's definitely been a shift. They did have a big exciting time the other night when there was a raccoon in the yard. They somehow got out of the gate and had the coon cornered, we'd just had a crazy night of service, I get home to frenzied dogs, and a scared GM. The dogs seemed fine after, it looked like the raccoon had a broken leg, but hopefully it survived.

Hopefully the duck will be a far, far better dish that I do, than I have ever done.

*from the current wd-50 menu

Comments

[nika]

it doesnt sound like anyone had an issue with the ribs.. just someone who couldnt read ordering a non-rib item.

[haddock]

Sorry nika, my poor writing intervened. The man at the table didn't like the sauce on the ribs and thought they were stringy.

[Joe Fish]

haddock,
You can't hold yourself responsible for people who are merely stupid. Is there fish in the seafood sausage? Come on.

f

[haddock]

Joe:

I'm not holding myself responsible for people who can't read. I am however responsible for writing the menu in such a way that even fools can understand it.

In other words if there's something important I need to communicate through the menu and the customer doesn't notice it and the waiter isn't able to help them to a clear understanding then I have in an elemental way, failed.

There were other weirdos that night too, I think full moon came a few days early. But, these are the people we serve and I need to be able to understand them, in order to meet their needs.

[jsp]

Joe Fish - I am with you. Can't eat fish? Don't effing order the SEAFOOD sausage. If you can't read... ask the waiter lots of questions and order from their sugestions. Haddock spends a lot of time trying to please everyone. It is often one of the things I admire about him. But sometimes I just think "oh brother don't bother with these fools". But then sometimes we get the best customers from a fool who was overcome by Haddock and I just think "god, I guess it was worth the effort. I never would've done it"

[Catherine]

Mmm, I dunno about all this self-blame. How can you not deduce, even if you do not know, that SEAFOOD contains - or might contain - FISH? I guess I see your point; it echoes something a former boss once said: "It is not enough to communicate so that you are understood. You must communicate so that you cannot be misunderstood." But still...they're obviously idjits.

[shuna fish lydon]

Haddock,

Congratulations on your juggling skills. Also being a fish I would have to agree with the other Fish. Sometimes when people are very hungry that only skim the menu. They see pasta and orfer it.

Once, at Bouchon, someone took a bite of the steak au poivre and exclaimed, "god this steak is way too peppery!" and they sent it away.

Or how about the people who complain that the sugar tastes burnt on the tate tatin? really now! I really do believe that some people are meant to be unhappy customers. It's what gets them through their day.

[nika]

Haddock: I think your too hard on yourself! :-) I would be the same way so dont mind me.

I would be afraid of serving something like ribs because everyone seems to think they are world-class experts on what a good rib is. I lived in Texas a long time and to me BBQ is beef, dry rub, no steenking marinades, cooked ages in a dirt pit, etc. I have also lived in the deep south and never once did I go in a BBQ shack and tell them that pulled pork was wrong headed, I kept my opinions to myself and forwent the BBQ.

I hope you have better experiences with menu-feedback in the future. I bet you will always get turkeys tho! Try to remember that true regulars and patrons get that you work hard on what you offer them.

Nika

[Jennifer]

Blackberry BBQ sauce. Yum. I don't have any vines growing in my own backyard (lucky you!), so I'll have to start driving around and looking for some...

[F. S. Blair]

Having just finished reading from day one to the present, a few comments I'd like to make:

I've never been able to reconcile David Johannsen the New York Doll with Buster Poindexter, the cabbie in Scrooged, and so forth. It's just such a weird shift, and from here at least, not the usual "Oh, I'm blatantly whoring myself to be more commercially viable" type, either. Fascinating, but disorienting.

The whole "entitlement" movement makes us seem like a nation of petulant 7 year olds, and is also inexplicably connected to the whole "nothing is ever my fault, I am always innocent" schtick that gets bandied about with equal frequency. I worked as a bouncer in a strip club for a good 4 years, ending earlier this year, and as such, endured a constant barrage of both. It sticks in my craw, and fuels the deep and abiding misanthropy that existed even before entering an industry that confirmed all my worst suspicions about humanity.

Real food allergies are a pain in the ass for everyone involved, not a point of leverage in some imaginary little skirmish some people seem to consider any transaction they enter into as a customer. This, I say from experience- I am allergic to oranges, have been since I was in the single digits. Predictably, I also love oranges, and particularly juice cocktails involved orange juice. Periodically- once a year, perhaps- I say fuck it, and drink a nice, big glass of some delicious fruit juice mixture that contains oranges. I enjoy it thoroughly, right up until I get sick, break out in hives, and start having trouble breathing. At some point, I invariably croak that I'm never going to do it again. And, of course, I do. When I've been at a restaurant where I thought it might be an issue, I always discuss it with my waiter in a friendly manner, and do my best to make it clear that I'm not being an ass, but looking out for both of us, and often ask them for advice on what to order, rather than just blithely assuming that any dish can be made with 17 substitutions, in a special sterile kitchen reserved specifically for cooking my meals and my meals alone, and so forth. I've found that staff in decent or better restaurants are generally happy to help, if approached in this manner. Granted, my previous occupation, along with those aspects of myself that made me excel as a bouncer, may play a role in it, too, but I truly believe it's just a matter of handling it correctly, and treating the staff with the same respect that they accord me. Or, as I once told my brother, "I'll be damned, I guess dad knew what he was talking about with the manners thing, after all."

Finally, the ribs sound delicious. I wish I was still in California- I'd so have made an attempt to trek northward and try them before they disappeared for the year.

Incidentally, I've really enjoyed the blog so far, and have a suspicion I'll be sticking around, and perhaps even commenting regularly.

Keep up the good fight, haddock!

[haddock]

FS Blair-
Thanks for reading. Oddly enough, al l those personas existed in David Jo the whole time. He is really at heart, an entertainer, in the old sense of the word. I don't think any of that was whoring, just some side projects that managed to take off.

I'm with you on the misanthropy.

As for the ribs, they're now duck.