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September 01, 2006



I feel like I'm reading a soap opera installment (if soap operas involved duck breast and dirty rice and candied corn)...

Sounds like quite a pickle. Always disappointing when parent is denied the right to see their child, especially when the issue of "fault" has yet to be determined.

Hang in there!


Wow. I am intrigued by the moral quandary you are in. I'm not sure if you're asking for or even accepting advice, so here is my (possibly unsolicited) two cents: You like W and want him to continue to work for you. That much you made clear. You don't approve of his actions outside work. To me, that is where that disapproval belongs - outside work. If you don't want to get involved in the drama anymore than you have, don't.

You are already doing what you can to help L, which shows him (and W) whom you support. It also speaks for itself in terms of your own moral compass. If W is doing a great job at work and is showing up on time and all that jazz, unless he asks you what you think of his involvement in the situation, I don't think you should volunteer it.

Anyway, hope Labor Day weekend is great on all fronts.


I am very familiar with the organization of which you speak, and, alas, it's true, it tends to be selective about which people involved in difficult situations it assists.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with all of this right before a major holiday weekend. That always seems to be when the fecal material starts to fly, eh?



I woulda thunk it was "un food blog."

F. S. Blair

Just to toss my two pennies into the circle...

Do what you can to help and support L, but don't become a Spec4-style 'advisor' in the zerozone between him and W. It can be hard to do- something I'm all too well aware of- but it's the only reasonable course of action, I think- getting actively involved in the potential skirmish between the two of them not only makes you a direct party to it (a bad thing to be, in domestic ugliness such as this), but choosing sides in a drama you don't fully understand also puts you in precarious straits with the rest of the Mayans, I would think, and may damage the existing rapport. Not to mention, it can seem insulting and presumptuous to see a relative outsider take an active role in an insular affair.

Supporting L, without condemning W, however, shows that you care, and serves as an example that they can come to you, without putting your ass on the line or harshing your credibility.

Or at least, that's my take on it.

- Scott


Thanks all for the advice and to be clear part of why I keep this blog is to solicit advice. Things which are clear to me are sometimes not so clear to others and being in this somewhat remote area it is hard to steer clear of tunnel vision.

I am essentially trying to not choose sides, except the side of the child. It's clear both mom and dad are not behaving well with each other, although I have direct experience with at least one of them putting the child's needs foremost. In this situation however, the child will be the loser.

My moral dilemma with W. is not so much the issue as just the dilemma of what my employees actions say about my business. This is a small town and repercussions can be deep. Yes, I know that what people do on their time is precisely that, but if an employee is rude to someone at the bank, I've probably lost a customer. In a larger area things are a little more anonymous. So, I worry how outside actions effect my livelihood.

and johng: I'm not up on my genders. Does the blog reflect the gender of the writer, or is blog itself a masculine noun? I was just cribbing from Magritte.


I worked once for a company that was writing software for a large open pit mine up in the back of by-gosh northern Canada.

We're talking BIG TRUCKS, BIG SHOVELS and guys out in the middle of nowhere with few women and with guns.

One of the things we had to track in the software that assigned which truck was sent to which shovel was which employee was feuding with which other employee(s) over one of the women -- or whatever else was worth feuding about -- on site.

Guns, eh?

I hope your kitchen stays sane through all of this. It's got to be tough on all involved to be seeing each other at work. Your loyalties are torn. I can't even imagine what Sr. and the rest of them are feeling through all this.

I think you should be writing specs for Fox Network.


Ceci n'est pas une blog de cuisine?

It's rough living in a small town: everyone talks about everyone else, not always truthfully, and you are constantly representing the company you work for, whether in Harvest Market, staggering drunkenly around Dicks, or being involved in a custody dispute. It's a little unnerving to more or less always be at work, even when clearly out of uniform and off the clock.

Someone's always got their eye on you.

I hope this weekend has been good to you guys.


haddock, my french is basic at best, but yes, the adjective takes the gender of the noun it describes, and a blog is, for unknown reasons, masculine, as you can see here: http://closdesfees.aquaray.com/dotclear/index.php

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