I'm posting this pic of me at the ripe age of 13 or so to impress upon you, dear reader, the utter ridiculousness of my being a standard bearer of etiquette.
That disclaimer out of the way, my time on the floor of the restaurant perpetually leaves me shaking my head at the sorry state of public behavior. I'm not talking about the large rude behaviors; the snapping of fingers at waiters, the inattention to out of control children or loud, drunken cursing. Nor am I talking about rules like which fork to use when, or whether it is acceptable to saw back and forth at your meat, (it's not) or to stroke the knife away from you (there ya go). I'm talking about behaving well with your dining companion.
Now the GM may stiffen when she reads this because our recent wrangles have been about how we sometimes treat each other (poorly) and how we express ourselves with each other. We do try however, to revisit the situation at a later time, figure out what the heck was going on and seeing what we can do to not have it happen again.
I understand that with long partnership comes familiarity, which can on occasion, lead people to act indifferently, or casually with their partner. I am guilty of speaking to the GM in ways I would never have dreamed of when we first met. Honey, I'm sorry. With long partnership also comes deeper understanding and greater love. I hope I can express those feelings as well as I can dissatisfaction.
My own family aside, people please, when you are eating with other people, don't push your plate precariously to one side of the table. You are in a restaurant. We will take your plate. When everyone at the table is finished. Try not to ask for the check while your partner is still chewing, unless you have very pressing business. And try to leave yourself enough time to attend to your pressing business. Believe me, I want to turn the table. But I also want you to enjoy yourself. And enjoy your companions.
I've been called the punk rock Martha Stewart. Talk about warring impulses. But it's true. My style might be a little weird, but I know how to behave and how to make you feel welcome and taken care of.
I write this because I watch my son and wonder who he will be. And wonder how he will conduct himself in the world. And wonder, where in my upbringing did I absorb the lessons of civility. And how far from them did I stray when I was looking like I looked above. And how far do I stray today?
Dear Punk Boy -- You have the best, most natural "manners" of almost anyone I know. I do not think you have a thing to worry about with your sardine: he will absorb, just as you did, what matters (kindness and consideration). I wish I could say this about more people, but these days it's a jungle out there.
Posted by: kudzu | April 24, 2007 at 08:17 PM